Believe it or not, this isn't the first time I have lost my job. I am happy to say I have never officially been fired. I have, however, been laid off many a time.
Some highlights:
"Barry, we are letting you go because there is no work, but if there was work we would fire you because you have a bad attitude."
"Barry, we have dissolved your department. I know it is the day after Christmas, but I am sure you will find something soon."
"Barry, we decided to cut anyone who wasn't a manager that was making more than X dollars. Take care."
**Side note - The company that dissolved my department the day after Christmas rehired me January 2nd. They then laid me off again five months later. What is the saying, "Fool me once......."
And finally
"Barry, Toyota has decided not to renew your contract. Your last day will be Friday. They feel they are being more than generous giving you two days notice for the five years you have been there. Take care."
I was just asked by a friend what I would be stealing from the office on my last day. I said, "The same thing I have been stealing for the last five years: Time. Oh, and staples. You can never have enough staples."
2 comments:
It could be said that you've been stealing a paycheck for 5 years
I recommend scotch tape and rubber bands too.
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