Lucas' latest Star Wars edit

Cookbook Idea

So I love this new form of blogging, so much easier than writing...

Bucking the Vampire trend

As I've said in the past, I'm sick of vampire movies. Hollywood needs to start churning out more zombie pictures. While sitting on the subway I came up with a pretty sweet idea for a zombie film where the main character is a zombie neurologist. Sort of like 28 Days Later meets Doc Hollywood. I story-boarded it below, pretty sure it'll be a hit...(click to enlarge)



Next up: Zombie Rap Artist...

More people that are cooler than I am

In addition to the smoking baby, this sixteen year old girl is cooler than I am because she tried to sail around the earth solo. When I was sixteen I had a jew-fro and was afraid to ask girls out on dates.

I'm going long on Philip Morris

When I was in elementary school the nurse's office had this poster hanging on the wall in order to discourage us from smoking. While it didn't work for all of us (I nearly got killed after ratting on some sixth graders who were smoking on the tire playground during recess), I took its warning to heart, and put off starting until I was 17 years old. You see back then, images like this, and others of old ladies smoking through tracheostomies, were powerful enough to convince us that cigarettes made you uncool, and that only ugly losers took up smoking as a habit.

Then came this little guy...



How fucking gangsta is that? Not only do I think this baby is fucking cool, I'm pretty sure he could kick my ass!! He looks like he's either a crime boss, or a pimp that runs an underground casino in his spare time.

And did you see that shot of him with the guitar? He's so fucking baller that I hear Snoop Dogg asked him to join on his next tour.

Even as an adult I can't compete with that. Never should have quit....

Will Smith wants to fuck my dead grandfather's corpse.

How do I know this? Simple, because he's digging up shit that I used to love, and fucking it in the ass.



Seriously, what is this?



Clearly my grandfather's corpse is next.

There can only be one...

Betty White felt a surge of power course through her veins last night. Her body lifted off the ground as she absorbed all the knowledge and power of Blanche. The quickening is complete.

***UPDATE***

Betty White leaving her house right before Rue was reported dead. Story developing . . .

Paging Steven Keaton

Clearly Joran van der Sloot needs a TV dad to help him sort through his troubles. How many girls do you have to kill before it is considered an issue? I am saying four.

Jordan checking out of his hotel room in Peru

I need a sitcom dad

The passing of Emmanuel Lewis this past week got me thinking how I really want a sitcom dad. Not some guy to play my dad on TV but a guy who plays a dad on TV to act all fatherly to me. I am not sure if I am making sense so let me explain. Take Dick Van Patten for example. He was the patriarch of the Eight is Enough clan. Sure he played a dad on the show but the thing that really impressed me was that he was always bailing Nicholas and Tommy out of trouble in real life. When one of them got busted for drugs, rape or for being a Somalian Pirate, you would always see Dick Van Patten coming to their rescue. The same goes for Conrad Bain. When Willis or Kimberly were caught up in drugs, he was always trying to help them out. I guess the drugs thing I am not into but I really want some guy who plays a dad on TV to bail me out of trouble if trouble arises. I bet Higgins would make a good dad.

Holding open auditions this weekend at my house.

I really miss you

I still can't believe Gary died last week. It seems like only yesterday I was watching the episode where Arnold figures out that 'Papa' Papadapolis can't read. I always loved sitcoms with a heart.