Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Friend Heaven

Friend Heaven - That special place in your head where a friend goes after you stop talking to him or her. This place is reserved for people that you still like, but for one reason or another just stop talking to. Usually applies to coworkers who have found new jobs.

Monday, January 30, 2006

Weird NJ

Been whittling away the hours today on WeirdNJ.com. I think the site has been around for awhile but I only discovered it on Friday. Some creepy stuff in the Garden State. One of my favorite things is the article about Jungle Habitat. It closed before my time but I have heard all the rumors of how the animals were just left to die when it closed. I wonder if there is any way to find out the truth about the place. Next time I am in town I am going to have to make a trip through there.

Monday, January 23, 2006

Sad sad day

I just tried to go to the superficial.com at work and got the following message:

Site is filtered
Access denied by SmartFilter content category. The requested URL belongs to the following categories: Provocative Attire, Profanity, Sexual Materials.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You are attempting to access a web site that Toyota Management has deemed inappropriate. If you feel this is an error, please send an email to "Info_Security".

There really is no reason for me to come here anymore.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

The root of all Evil!

There is one thing that everybody says after a night of drinking: "How did this donkey get in my room?" Ok there are two things that are commonly said after a night of hard boozing. The second being: "I am never drinking again." That is how I feel right now, but the thing I have sworn off is not alcohol. I never want to see a cup of coffee again. No Starbucks! No Coffeebean! No Pete's!

This past Sunday is when my coffee relationship went south. I made myself a pot of coffee to get the day going. I don't know why I did this but I put as much coffee into the machine as it would hold. It tasted so good! I was quite pleased. Much like a night of drinking though, I did not think about how I would feel a few hours later. Within an hour of drinking my superjoe, I felt like I had been up all night doing lines of coke with the ghosts of Chris Farley and John Bulshi. My heart tried to jump out of my chest. I had no appetite and I couldn't move. Hell I couldn't even take a dump, which everyone knows is the best side effect of coffee. I spent the next four hours lying around swearing that if the sound of my heart beating in my ear would go away I would never drink coffee again.

Well it has been two days and I still can't even look at a coffee maker. So far without coffee, I am irritable, tired, and my head is pounding. There is nothing like withdrawal! Hell if not drinking coffee keeps me from hearing people order drinks by temperature it will all be worth it.

Monday, January 09, 2006

Nostalgia

"Remember when" may be my favorite saying. I love to be nostalgic. Over the last couple of years I have become obsessed with the things I had as a child. Whether it be a 1978 Batman mego doll or Tamiya Grasshopper, I can't get enough. I have had discussions with people about building the ultimate Nostalgia room. A room that is filled with unopened toys from the 80s, a pacman machine, and a cooler full of original coke.

I have been asked why I would want anything from my childhood. I can't really give a good answer but I can say, I like most people remember everything better than it really was.

One of those things was my first mountain bike. It was the summer of 1994 and I had just finished my first year in college. Based on the fact I hated walking to class, I knew I wanted to go back to school with a bike. After much deliberation I decided on a 1994 Trek 950. I remember the specs as if it was yesterday: 19.5 inches, ice blue, rigid fork, full lx components, and toe clip pedals. It was $700 including the tax. At the time it seemed like so much. I worked as a bank teller, and as a slave ripping up old carpet in my mother's house to get the cash together to pay for it. I spent the next three years beating the hell out of that bike. By the time I graduated, I had worn out almost every part on the bike. It was back in the day when I would actually wear out a part before I would go and upgrade.

After college, I got a new bike but I kept the 950 around for city riding as well as to lend out to the occasional friend who wanted to try mountain biking. Ah sweet such memories of my friend Keith taking it on one of his first rides. He hated falling so much he decided to punish my bike and throw it at a couple of trees. Reason enough to never lend anything again.

A few years later some unsavory person stole the 950 from my garage. Sure I collected from the insurance but I was pissed nonetheless. I had dreams about catching the thief. I dreamed about the beating I would give them. I know catching them was far fetched. I also knew there was a slim chance of finding the bike, but if you know me and you know the story of my peugoet (*see below), you know anything is possible.

Since the bike was stolen I searched occasionally on ebay for it. Fine I am lieing. I searched daily for it. Whats the big deal! I knew the odds of the thief posting it were slim but I also thought maybe there was a chance of finding a similiar one for sale. Of course there was little chance of me finding a replacement since I had a specific size and year in mind. A couple of years ago I came close but the bike was too small. I still never gave up and as of a few days ago I was able to finally put this obsession to rest. On ebay I found a basically perfect condition 1994 Trek 950. The guy selling it said he bought it new but it never fit him so it has been in storage ever since. What are the odds? So now it is mine. A bit of the past is back. I have only one promise for it. I will ride you as you deserve to be ridden. As if I am 18 and I have no where to be.


Looks like my Nostalgia room needs a bike rack.

*Side story - Peugoet

Just to show people that the odds can be against you and everything can turn out ok, I will tell you the story of my Peugoet. I got a 10 speed Peugoet road bike as a bar mitzvah gift. It was a great bike but being that I was 13 and growing it had a definite shelf life. It had been sitting at my mom's for years when Jake wanted to borrow it to ride around the city. When it wasn't being used, Jake stored it in the basement of his office. Well one night around midnight I came out of the path station to see the bike locked up to a bike rack. One might ask why I was looking so closely at a bike rack at midnight. The answer being, people who like bikes always look. It is sort of like pulling the brake levers on every bike in a bike store. It is just something we do. Anyway I called Jake and asked him why he left it outside. He proceeded to tell me I was nuts and the bike was safe and sound in the basement of his office. I told him there was no mistake it was my bike. After much reluctance, Jake got out of bed and went over to his office to check if it was there. Sure enough it was gone. I called the Hoboken police to tell them the situation. Much to my amazement the police had an undercover cop hang out at the bike rack waiting for the thief to return. Within an hour the cop got tired of waiting and just cut the lock and gave the bike back to me. I wish I was there to see the thief's face as he came out of the path to see his stolen bike was stolen.

Ribs really are better if you exercise first!

I now have scientific proof that eating barbeque is better if you exercise first. When I go biking we all know there is only one thing on my mind. RIBS RIBS RIBS!!!! Well on Friday I really wanted to go biking. The weather was perfect, so I packed up my stuff and headed to the trail head. After a very painful road climb on my single-speed I realized that my lights weren't working. The ride was over before I even touched dirt. Kind of sucked but at least I got to go to Mr. Cecil's earlier. I actually deviated this time. I had a pulled pork sandwich with beans, coleslaw, and hush puppies. Guess what happened. Without the hunger from riding, I wasn't able to finish the beans or hush puppies. Travesty I tell you!

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Sucky Morning

I was going to write a little passage about how I laughed this morning when some guy rolled down his window and called me a Mother Fucker because I was caught in an intersection after the light changed. Only thing is, that really wont do the morning justice.

After being berated I continued on with my commute when the most eerie thing happen. There was this guy on a motorcycle in the lane next to me. He got along side me and we both made eye contact. I actually felt really stupid when we did because here is this guy riding a Harley, cruising at about 70mph and there I am sipping an ice coffee in my Mini. Anyway, right after our exchange, Harley man passes me and the next thing I see is his bike fly into the divider. It was awful. The guy just rolled through the car pool lane. I slammed on my brakes trying to figure out what to do. Within a few seconds I came upon the cause of the accident. There was a three car pile up right in front of where the Harley crashed. I felt such a heart sick feeling. The guy on the Harley was rolling around on the ground in pain. Thankfully the people involved in the accident got out of their cars and ran back to the Harley to help.

I hope the guy is ok.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Living in a cartoon


You know how in movies and tv there is this ongoing mockery of how people order drinks in coffee houses: "I will have a grande mocha half soy with extra gayness". Well I always thought it was just an exaggeration of the truth. That is, until today. I was at Starbucks and I actually heard the person in front of me saying the following: "I will have a vente cafe mocha latte at 140 degrees". I am not shitting you! The guy actually specified the temperature at which he wanted his coffee. I am just going to pretend this was a fluke incident and get on with my day.