Mad Skills

I have a mini competition going (at least in my head) with Colleen (from elementary school) about who can pull out funnier pictures/writing samples from childhood. She just sent me this little gem of mine from 6th grade:

The happiest time of my life

Sonesta Beach Hotel, Key Biscayne, Florida 1981

I have no explanation for my mood in these photgraphs but I like to believe this trip made me the person I am today.

Fancier people than you wear socks as gloves

But mom I really want a pair of Freezy Freakies

Also applicable to these pictures:

Mercedes in garage - check
Rolex on both parents' wrists - check
Fur coat for mom in closet - check
Gloves for child - . . .

A moment frozen in time

This picture was taken exactly 12 minutes before I learned every curse word in the book (not sure which book) and 14 minutes after my friend nicknamed my mother Madame Afro.

It felt like I was looking in a mirror

I am in the middle of litigation with Arnold Schwarzenegger over who really came up with the idea for the movie Twins. Clearly my brother and I went through the same experiences as Arnold and Danny Devito years before that movie came out.



Obviously no disrespect towards my brother. I mean come on. So he was a bit heavy. It looks like I haven't eaten in months! We are both now in perfect shape.

Welcome to America

I remember it like it was yesterday, coming to America via Ellis Island. I had my ticket pinned to my sport coat. We were in search of a better life. A life where my brother could have a real Rolex and not a fake one from a store in Teaneck.


Seriously, I think my outfit came from a dumpster behind a Greek restaurant.

I felt the love

The scanner is fully operational!!!


I think my brother was showing me love in the same way Lennie would show a rabbit love.

Self Deprecation

I bought a scanner two days ago. Here are some of the images that will soon be burned into your brains:
Huge Glasses
Jewfro
Blond hair
Socks as gloves
Nude photo of my brother (pending litigation)
My mom in a bikini (also pending litigation)
Scan from my 2001 colonoscopy
Every Polaroid taken by my parents (I still have the camera)




Get ready to be entertained!

Greatest Family Guy Ever

Last night, Family Guy met all of my needs as a series. It can now go off the air.

Peter grows a mustache:


Peter eats 30 hamburgers and has a stroke (may hit too close to home)

Love/hate the British

I had to replace everything you see below on my Defender:

Where is my pudding?

Pitymeals, you know I am talking to you.

Give me the pudding and no one gets hurt.

Election coming up

This blog is finally becoming topical.

Zod in '08

4:23 PM

I have been sitting here for like five minutes trying to find something to write about. I have serious writer's block. Don't worry though, I have decided to eat a ton of candy before I go to sleep tonight. That should make for some interesting dreams.

More tomorrow