Do I know you?

When I used to live outside New York City I was in close proximity to the town I grew up in. As a result there was always a good chance of bumping into someone from my past out and about. Sometimes it was nice to see someone that perhaps I sat next to in 9th grade earth science; other times there wasn't anything I dreaded more. For every blast from the past I was happy to bump into there were fifteen losers that I crossed paths with. Seeing these dregs of New Jersey wasn't as bad as I am making it sound. Eye contact with them was the route of all evil, however. If even for an instance our eyes met, there would be that awkward moment where we would have to decide if there would be any acknowledgment. There were instances where I escaped without opening my mouth and there were times that I felt time stand still as we discussed yesteryear.

"So you still in a band?' "
You still dating that girl with the hair lip?"
"Oh, you live in your stepdad’s basement now, cool."
"See you around."

Living three thousand miles away from my hometown, I pretty much don't have to worry about the lawn boy being someone I played freeze tag with. Instead of seeing people from my schoolyard, in LA, I see celebrities. I see them, they see me looking at them, and for a split second I think to myself "Hey I know him/her." Thankfully I quickly realize I don't know these people and I don’t approach them. Our relationship is and should be limited to me watching them dance around inside a 32-inch box in my living room. (As I proofread this, I realized how that last sentence could be misconstrued. I mean my television, not some box that I stuff celebrities into and force them to dance.)

I saw an actor tonight at Honey's Kettle. The guy who plays Lex Luther on ‘Smallville’ was enjoying some delicious fried chicken on the other side of the restaurant. I looked at him. He looked at me undressing him with my eyes looking at him, and for a second it was like we knew each other. Thankfully I did not interrupt his dinner. A beyond gay conversation about kryptonite was avoided.

BEFORE ANYONE BOTHER'S COMMENTING, I KNOW THE FACT THAT I WATCH 'SMALLVILLE' MAKES ME A LOSER, SO SAVE THE JOKES!