Oscar the Grouch

I just got a call from a friend that lives in our nation's capital wondering if I was doing anything special for the Oscars due to the fact that I live in Los Angeles. I think there are some misconceptions about LA and its residents. Just because one lives in the general proximity of famous people doesn't mean that they want anything to do with them or vice versa. The restraining orders make sure of that. Perhaps he thought because this is an industry town that I would be at some party in the Hollywood Hills watching George Clooney thank his pig for teaching him how to gain weight for his role in 'Syriana,' or hear how Felicity Huffman studied trannies to learn how to be a woman playing a man becoming a woman. In any case, I am sure it was a normal question, but honestly I can't think of anything more boring than watching a bunch of self-centered assholes accept awards for three hours. I am sure it will all change when I win one. Do they have a category for best key grip?