Friday, August 23, 2013

Tom Sizemore would have made a great Batman!

There is nothing bat shit crazier than a die hard comic book fan.  Picture a 36 year old male, living at home with thousands of comics and toys covered in semen at the foot of his race car bed.  Spiderman sheets only changed when mom is allowed in the room on bath day.  And don't get me started on the cosplay.  Anyone know what it even is?   I assume it involves wearing underuse and getting kicked in the nuts.

Knowing these people are borderline homicidal, why would you fuck with the one thing that matters most to them?  Kill off a key character or hire a guy with downs to play Batman and you better watch your back.  I'm of course talking about the decision to have Ben Affleck toss on some Adam West left over sweaty tights.  It makes no sense.  I don't mind Ben Affleck.  He seems like a decent enough guy who was just dealt a bad hand in life.  Poor bastard can't outrun Jennifer Garner's flapping ears if he tried.  I mean I guess Argo was decent, but one good movie does not prepare oneself to be the dark knight detective.  Not since George Clooney stroked his nipples in the batman suit has there been such injustice to nerds everywhere.  I expect there to be riots in Gotham by nightfall.


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