In my expert medical opinion...

Today I sent a picture of myself giving the finger while taking a shit to my surgeon friend.  Don't worry, there was no nudity or poop in the shot.  It was just my face and bloated handed contorted in such a way that you could see I was flipping "the bird." Sure, I'm an adult and my friend is a world renowned hand surgeon, but that doesn't mean I can't express myself when need be.

What I wasn't prepared for was the response I got.  You see, this friend is an internet friend (so not a doctor and probably four dudes living in a studio apartment in Pittsburg) and has never seen my Mickey Mouse hands in person.  This was our conversation:

Doctor John: What a fat finger!
Doctor John: WTF
Doctor John: You have rheumatoid arthritis.
Barry: That's an ongoing joke among my friends (I don't have friends)
Barry: Mickey Mouse hands
Doctor John: It's freaky.
Doctor John: And I see 5,000 hands a year.

This reminds me of when I noticed how big my dad's fingers were.  He was on his death bed and I was holding his hand when I noticed that each of his fingers could have stared in a '70s porn movie.  They were hairy and more importantly had the girth of a Vlasic pickle.  He died too soon.  So much wasted potential.

One day, you might live your father's dream.  One day.