I finally got on my bike today. My performance was nothing short of pathetic. On another note, pre ride I experienced some mental trauma that I am sure I will NEVER recover from. There were only two of us on today's excursion. For now my friend will remain nameless. The only thing you need to know about him, is that he likes to ride with no shirt on. I once asked him why he insists on scaring people with his exposed body and he gave me some bullshit about the perfect tan or something to that effect.
As we were getting ready to start the ride, my friend was standing there in front of me bare-chested when he dropped the bomb on me. Nonchalantly, he asks me to lather up his back with sun block. Now this isn't something I would want to do for anyone, let alone a hairy forty year old man. When I expressed my lack of desire to do the deed, he called me homophobic. I was taken aback. I am not homophobic. He played some sort of mental trickery on me that ended with my right hand rubbing the fur on his shoulders. I can't believe I did it. His hairy back is now scorched into my brain. He laughed when I was done. I feel so dirty.
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