My memoirs will be scary

I am beginning to notice that most authors draw upon personal experiences when writing. Whether it be using a location or actual events, most writers throw in a bit of themselves in their work. I have heard the same thing is true for artists. Isn't the Mona Lisa supposedly a self-portrait?

I have decided that if I ever write a book I am just going to make it nonfiction. My imagination has nothing on my day-to-day life. For example, if I was going to write a book about a child visiting his or her mother once they were an adult, I would use my imagination to perhaps set the visit around Thanksgiving in the hopes that I could come up with a funny anecdote with regard to cooking the turkey without unwrapping it. Doesn’t sound that interesting does it?

In real life, I am currently visiting my mother. For some reason during the last three visits, my mom has insisted on me going sneaker shopping with her. I begrudgingly go like a surly teenager. I try and help her pick out stylish kicks before she accosts a salesperson for help. Once this happens, you can find me hiding under a rack of dresses. Anything so I don't have to be involved with the trying on process. Once the sneakers are on her feet, I am brought back in to give my opinion and to watch as a million questions are asked with regards to the shoes' support versus comfort level. After the questions are answered, momma usually ends up buying two pairs. Now here is why fact is stranger than fiction. Once I leave, my mom returns the sneakers in their unopened boxes to their respective stores. Next trip the whole process starts over again.

Which story would you rather read? The one about some boring child’s visit or the one about the mother who drags her adult son shoe shopping for no reason?

One final thing, there was a billboard within Macy’s shoe department of a woman wearing high heels. I tried to take a picture, but it didn't come out well. The model had what appeared to be six toes on her right foot. More proof there is work for everyone in the field of their dreams.