Dear Gentlemen's Quarterly

Letter to the editor and Christian Bale:

But before we get to Mr Bale, I have some more words for Alan Richman and his obvious lack of taste. I was going to try another pizza place on his list called Antica Pizzeria, but before I could get in the door I was informed of how bad it is. Seriuously, Alan, did you make this list up as an elaborate joke on pizza eaters everywhere? Kind of how I will see a really bad movie and then tell a friend it is great just so they will see it (go see Terminator, it is awesome!) Alan, whats going on with you? Are you going through a tuff time? Remind me to ask you where to get a good slice, right after I ask a priest where the best pastrami is.

Now back to Christina Bale. I haven't read the article about him in GQ because it looks wordy but I did spend $11.50 to go see him over act so I think we have reached a point in our relationship where I can be honest. There has been lots of talk about how when he lost his mind on that lighting guy, he was in the moment and really in the scene. Well after seeing the movie I can say, Mr. Bale you truly are a douche. The movie is duece. If all it takes for you to go nuts is making a bunch of money while standing in front of a green screen crying how this isn't the future your momma told you about then I guess all is lost. Judgment day is coming.

The movie isn't all bad. I kind of went off for nothing. The best parts of the movie include:
Digital removal of Batman's costume from Christian Bale. Hold on you mean this is a different movie? But he uses the same voice. Weird.

And the best part! Arnold makes a cameo. I don't know how they did it. Was this film in storage for the last twenty five years? How did they splice the old footage in with the new footage of Christian Bale? I will never understand the magic of Hollywood.

So go see Terminator, you will not regret it!