I can be a bit of a dandy. I have been known to purchase your magazine to find out which summer shirt will look best with my converse sneakers. I am that shallow. I have no shame. However, I bought your magazine yesterday for one reason and one reason only. On the cover it clearly states "American Pie, The 25 Best Pizzas on Earth." The title lured me like some sort of miracle cure for cancer. The cashier had my $3.99 instantly. I ran all the way home with the magazine under one arm. Here is the tricky part, I only like to read magazine while crapping so I had to wait until this morning to see if the June issue truly was the book of life. Well GQ I now know you not only are not the book of life but I don't even think you could pass for being a new testament printed on old newspaper. Today I drove to number 7 on your so called greatest pizza list, Tomato Pie and I have to say I have had better slices at Sbarro at the Garden State Mall in Paramus New Jersey. What were you thinking? And I quote, "the crust unusually soft and tender, with a crisp bottom and a fluffy, nutty center." Do you even know what you are talking about? Are you making up descriptions to impress some girl? How about the dough was tasteless with a slight burn to the bottom. Don't even get me started on the sauce. A can of tomato paste and a packet of raw sugar do not make the grandma of slices. Honestly I am embarrassed for you. You clearly lost your taste buds in some sort of freak accident. You have brought me to a crossroads in life. There are still twenty four places left on your list. Fool me once shame on me. If the next place sucks this bad, I will be under your bed with a pizza cutter.
Sincerely,
Pizzaman33
Not as good as it looks.
2 comments:
Not even sure it would have made it to the list of best high school pizzas
Garden State Mall is in a Kevin Smith film. Garden State Plaza is in Paramus.
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