It is a well known fact that I fear pleated khaki pants. Throw in a cuff and you will see a grown man cry. With only a few days left to my job you can imagine the terror that is growing inside me. I have been taking a look at the jobs out there and really asking myself what I want to do with my life. I have thought about this long and hard and to avoid Dockers at any cost, I have decided to only look for a job that allows me to wear Stupid Pants. I know you think this might limit me but I actually think it opens a whole new world to me. Here is where I have sent my resume so far:Gold's Gym - two open positions. Greeter or Juice Bar Barrista. Both jobs allow me the privilege of wearing sleeveless shirts.
Local Mob - Enforcer. I had to really look for this job. They don't advertise everywhere, but through the right networking I found a low level made guy who is looking for someone to come along on "pick ups". The best part is I get to carry a little league aluminum bat. To think my coach once said I swing like a rusty gate. I have come so far.
MC Hammer Pose - It isn't what it used to be but the pay is good. We go to birthday parties. I was told if I got the job, I would only have to dance when Hammer Don't Hurt Him comes on.
Web Development Company - Sadly my current job allows me to wear anything I want to work so I have sent them my resume. I figure once my job opens up at the end of the week they will be seriously looking. You have to be proactive in this job market.
If anyone has any other ideas please let me know. I have my resume on hand.
2 comments:
do you think if you didn't blog at 9:45 a.m. when you were at work, maybe they wouldn't be letting you go?
I'd hate a roundhouse kick to the face while he was wearing those bad boys.
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