Cursed East Coast Feed

I am sick of the east coast being three hours ahead of the west coast. Every Thursday while I am having a nice candlelit dinner with my stuffed animals, I get a text from guest blogger Jake quoting that night's 30 Rock. He insists on ruining it for me week after week. Of course I could ignore his texts but that brings us to another topic, my new iPhone. I don't think I have ever loved anything more (will talk about that later). So my only solution is I either need time to fold in on itself so 30 Rock airs at the same time on both coasts or I need Jake to drop dead. Which ever comes first is fine.