I could go into how Lewis insisted we stop for breakfast before the hike or how I had to wait for him to evacuate his bowels while he texted me photos of his movement to give me a timetable of when the hiking would actually commence, but I I think I will focus on what's really important which is my brother has retard strength. We went to Los Liones Canyon for what I assumed would be a nice little walk. What I did not expect was that as soon as we got on the trail my brother would basically sprint off into the woods. He was all business. Full speed ahead. Two things made this awful. First off, I couldn't even remotely keep up with him. It was embarrassing. For the amount of mountain biking that I do you would think I would be able to walk up some easy trails at a brisk pace. This was not the case. I walked super slow in a zig zag pattern. If you look at the tracks, you would think a coyote was dragging my corpse back to its den. My right ass cheek and my hip flexors are still burning. Now the second issue which should be clear by now, is that I don't like to do things alone. This was lost on my brother. Because of his speed which I naturally attribute to his caveman walking style, I in essence went hiking alone. Well I wasn't totally alone, I got to walk behind a nice elderly couple in cargo shorts that had ski poles to help them balance. They were more than happy to ask if I was doing okay and if I hiked alone often.
It wasn't all bad. My brother did take me to lunch after the hike. Then again he was looking at his iPad the whole time so I guess I had lunch alone too.
Lewis, thanks for a lovely day.
2 comments:
We could have kept climbing, but you insisted on stopping at 12 PM.
And you texted me a photo of your fecal mud first.
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