Vampires have gotten so gay it's lame. And I know a lot of you are gonna get all PC and say that it's wrong that I use gay as a pejorative, but it ok, I'm allowed to say that because I hate gays.
A little prospective:
If you think back over the classic horror characters, Dracula was, by far, the badass of the bunch. Seriously, what did the Mummy, Frankenstein, or the Wolfman ever have that could compete with Dracula's pure coolness. When he wasn't turning proper victorian maidens into his undead hell-sluts, he was busy fucking dudes up with crossbows, turning into a wolf, or making fools so crazy, that they ate spiders and had to be put in asylums. Dracula was the shit, that is, until he decided to go hollywood.
Lets look back and watch the transformation from terrifying undead monster, to greasy extra on The Hills....
Claws + Rat eyes = Badass
Sure he softened the look a little, but it was the 60's and he still could kick Frankenstein's ass
He went chocolate, but it was the 1970's and everyone slacked off a bit
Still Chocolate, but he clearly got his groove back, and his pimp hand was strong
OK, he slipped a bit into the disco scene, but can you blame him? It was the first time in 100+ years that a cape was fashionable again
Ok, this guy was kind of cool
Major turning point in lameness, the one on the right's wearing an 8-ball jacket
No comment necessary
And here we are, 90201 vampire. I can just imagine the dialogue "Nobody understands what it's like to be a vampire, I'm such an outsider"
Jesus, I wish they'd go back to making Teenwolf movies.
2 comments:
Only when it makes my attempts at humor funnier.
whew, I feel better now! Thanks for the clarification
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