First mystery: What's up with Mickey Rourke's Hands?
Or really, what's up with Mickey Rourke? Seriously the guy looks all sorts of fucked up these days, but when you consider the tough life he's had and the fact that he spent a good decade or so as a shitty boxer that took a lot of shots to the face, it kinda makes sense. Until you look at his hands, then you can't help but think of that crazy little Lamisil monster, right?
I mean this picture could be of Mickey Rourke standing in front of one of his own fingernails. It's no wonder Kim Basinger once called him "The Human Ashtray". But all kidding aside, what the fuck is up with those hands. If you look at the picture below, you can see it wasn't always that way...
Sure he's a little ham-handed, but he didn't have those creepy curved nail beds, or fat-ass fingers like the dragon from The NeverEnding Story. Sure being a boxer may toughen the hands, but what's going on with Mickey Rourke's paws is simply not human.
And then it occurred to me, that's it. You heard it here first, after examining photographs taken over several years and watching all of the Twilight movies while drinking cough syrup, I've come to the conclusion that Mickey Rourke is actually a werewolf.
Notice the similarity between MR's hands and this werewolf's paws? I read somewhere that he even tried to eat Steve Guttenberg on the set of Diner. I'd hate to be his manicurist....
Anyhow, so that's just one of the things that this crazy year's made me wonder about. I'll be back with more Mysteries of 2011 over the next few days.
2 comments:
It's called clubbing, and it's a sign of lung disease.
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