Shit my dad doesn't say

People have been talking about Shit My Dad Says for weeks. I have had no real interest in it because I know it is some douche who looks like me and sounds like me sitting in a cube making this shit up when he should be doing his real job. If that wasn't bad enough I just heard that ABC picked up Shit My Dad Says as a TV show. In reality my dad had some great shit to say that could clearly have been made into a TV show. For example he used to call my mom's Toyota Corolla "the lumumba wagon." I never knew why. Another interesting thing my father used to say was that black people were shamsters. To this day I have no idea what he meant or even if it's derogatory, but I can tell you this, I think I just came up with a new show for NBC. The Shamsters featuring the lumumba wagon, the talking corolla. I need an agent.

*I just looked up shamster and it turns out it is derogatory. All this time I thought he was just slurring hamster.
**Don't be mad at my father, he is dead.