It should come as no surprise to any regular reader of this blog that Barry and I have long dreamt of becoming "professional" Nazi Hunters. I put professional in quotes because aside from the sheer pleasure of actually capturing a Nazi, there really isn't much in the way of reward. Sure, you may get lucky and stumble upon a Nazi that still has a pile of loot, but those are rare, and these are late days. Most surviving Nazis have already pawned the gold fillings and rectum diamonds that they took from the Jews. Nazi Hunting is like being a struggling artist in that regard, sure you may grind out a little cash doing it, but you really do it because it's your passion, and you better keep your day job.
Which brings us back to the man that the little asian boy, pictured above, wants dead. The news has been reporting that after a 15 year man-hunt, Whitey Bulger, the boston mobster, was apprehended in Santa Monica thanks to a tip from a neighbor. Normally, I'd say "who gives a shit", but then I read that the FBI was offering a $2 million reward for him.
$2 MILLION DOLLARS FOR AN 82 YEAR OLD WHITE MAN!!!
And to make it worse, Barry lived in Santa Monica at one point. Whitey Bulger could have been our day job! You nail Whitey every now and then and it pays for the Nazi operation, no brainer.
Armed with this information, I went to the FBI's 10 Most Wanted List thinking I'd see what other low hanging fruit was out there... WTF? Everyone else on the list is a Mexican drug lord, and they're only offering $100,000 for each of them. The potential ass-kicking to dollar ratio for each of these guys is exponentially higher. I totally missed the boat, I need Woody Allen to become a wanted fugitive so I can Dogg the Bounty Hunter him. I believe it would look something like this...
Such a missed opportunity.
2 comments:
I am glad this blog isn't dead like Columbo!!!
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