There is one thing that everybody says after a night of drinking: "How did this donkey get in my room?" Ok there are two things that are commonly said after a night of hard boozing. The second being: "I am never drinking again." That is how I feel right now, but the thing I have sworn off is not alcohol. I never want to see a cup of coffee again. No Starbucks! No Coffeebean! No Pete's! This past Sunday is when my coffee relationship went south. I made myself a pot of coffee to get the day going. I don't know why I did this but I put as much coffee into the machine as it would hold. It tasted so good! I was quite pleased. Much like a night of drinking though, I did not think about how I would feel a few hours later. Within an hour of drinking my superjoe, I felt like I had been up all night doing lines of coke with the ghosts of Chris Farley and John Bulshi. My heart tried to jump out of my chest. I had no appetite and I couldn't move. Hell I couldn't even take a dump, which everyone knows is the best side effect of coffee. I spent the next four hours lying around swearing that if the sound of my heart beating in my ear would go away I would never drink coffee again.
Well it has been two days and I still can't even look at a coffee maker. So far without coffee, I am irritable, tired, and my head is pounding. There is nothing like withdrawal! Hell if not drinking coffee keeps me from hearing people order drinks by temperature it will all be worth it.
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