Wednesday, February 06, 2013

My life could have been so different.

All the failed dates, the botched job interviews, that one funeral, it all could have played out so differently.  I'm of course talking about my non stop farting.  There are only so many dogs that I can blame for what clearly has my name and smell written all over it.  Sure one could say, the fact that I lean slightly over and lift a butt cheek when I fart really is the cause of my misery but I disagree.  Anyway, the point is, yesterday I discovered Shreddies.  It is some new magical underwear that has filters for farts built right in.  I've been too lazy to read any of the scientific data on the product so all I can tell you is they have some sort of carbon filter that eats farts.  I have to say, they're not half bad looking either.  Here you will see a picture of them for ladies.  I refuse to attach a picture of a man in his underwear because I'm not gay!!

As far as I can tell they are not available in thong form yet.  I will have to check to see if they make a pair that has a built in silencer.  I am ordering them now! My life is about to hit an upswing.

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