If all else fails...

Lately I've been wondering what to do with myself if my writing career doesn't take off. I've always been envious of people that have a family business to fall back on. Like an arranged marriage it seems like a no brainer of what to do with your life. You go to school, party your ass off, skip the class on resume writing, graduate, and go become a VP at a business you have no experience at. Of course all the real employees will hate you, but who cares. You earned that position through nepotism and that's awesome.

Sadly working for my parents has never been an option. Any business they ever started was instantly run into the ground because they were animals. If for some reason one of their get rich quick schemes had actually taken off, there is no way I could have worked for them anyway. That much time together would have definitely resulted in parricide. I guess in that case the warden would be my career counselor. Anyway I digress.

My new plan for when my writing career fails is to move to New Jersey and claim I'm the long lost heir to the BJF Sanitation Corporation. I figure all I have to do is say I'm a dumpster baby and no one will question me. If you think about all the babies that are thrown in dumpsters on a daily basis in the garden state, you will realize it's not my worst idea. How can anyone possibly remember every baby they've thrown away? I could be the one that survived which just proves I have the tenacity to run BJF Sanitation. I think my future is going to work out just fine.