Philadelphia 2 - This time with more AIDS!

I can honestly say I have never sat through the movie Philadelphia. When I was younger I avoided it because I thought it might give me AIDS (times were different back then). Now I can't sit through it because the premise seems absurd. People don't get AIDS anymore. That was so 1990. At least that is what I thought until I saw my brother the other day. I went to run some absurd errand with him that involved us driving to the San Gabriel Valley to get a permit for some sort of art show that he plans to put on in the park (lies, but might be good for another post). I pull up to his place and he walks out looking like a homeless Tom Hanks and this time Denzel won't represent him.

Let me break the outfit down for you. He is wearing all black Nike sneakers, the kind you wear if you are waiter or a nurse. I didn't see his socks, but let's just assume they were torn to shreds. Move on to the pants, Brooks Brothers, wool pleated suit pants, funny enough purchased roughly the same time Philadelphia came out. I would say pleated says it all, but I was told that the previous day one of his friends informed him that his pants had the distinctive odor of vomit, so I am pretty sure vomit trumps pleated. The shirt, XXXL dry-fit with a week's worth of crumbs stuck all over. On top of the shirt was a filthy Patagonia fleece that looked like it was purchased during freshman orientation at Brandeis. Moving on to the face, the perfect cancer beard. You know the kind that makes people think, poor thing, he clearly is dying. Finally we get to the baseball hat, the same cancer description applies here as well. Each item was gross on their own, but together it created some sort of Voltron animal of disgust. If I knew the words to the Bruce Springsteen Philadelphia song, now would be a good time for me to sing them. If I had a time machine and a jar full of AIDS, I could easily make some money having my brother be Tom Hanks's stand-in. It was all very sad. Hopefully my brother can get to a doctor before his condition worsens.

He covered his face out of shame!