Friday, March 26, 2010

Look son, a faggot!


Obviously the father is pointing at Kim Jong Il, a Charlie that currently runs some shit starving-ass third world country in China or whatever. Mr. Il's navy apparently torpedoed and sank a South Korean ship this morning, possibly endangering our supply chain of cell phones and flat screens. He then warned the United States that if we threaten him in any way, and I shit you not, America will "fall victim to the unprecedented nuclear strikes of the invincible army".

The Barry Rides will not stand for this kind of unprovoked aggression.

We hereby submit the following open letter to Supreme Leader of The Democratic People's Republic of Korea, Kim Jong Il, and all the citizens of North Korea:

To Kim Jong Ching Chong and all the people of your stinky shitty country-
The Barry Rides will not tolerate this type of inflammatory rhetoric. Especially from a nation most of us cannot locate. You have awoken a mighty beast, and you will pay a devastating price for your stupid idiocy. You have unleashed forces that you cannot even begin to comprehend with your teeny tiny pea-brains, and you will regret the moment you made the ultimate mistake by insulting us. 
The Barry Rides hereby declares Ultimate and Total War against the nation of North Korea. Make no mistake, you have made the hugest mistake ever by provoking us, and you will be destroyed in the most spectacular and ruthless fashion in all the history of Mankind. We will rain hellfire down upon your fishlike heads, and put shit in your drinking water. We will enslave all of you, and force you to fight each other in Karate matches for our amusement. We will wipe our asses with your nicest towels and feign ignorance when confronted about it. We will bombard your self esteem with racist jokes.
If you surrender unconditionally within the next 24 hours we will only kill half of your first born sons and poison only two thirds of your rice. Regardless, you will suffer horrors that will make all other Chinese people of the world think twice about ever pissing us off in the slightest.
Sincerely,
Barry of The Barry Rides

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