I sent a man to death on my birthday

Today I turned 33 years old. It feels like yesterday that I was lying on my bedroom floor playing with a couple of gijoe figures. Oh wait, it was yesterday. People have been asking me all day what I was doing for the big day. Was I going anywhere special, blah, blah, blah. Beat this, today I had jury duty. What better gift could a person ask for than deciding the fate of another human being? I sat patiently all day waiting to be chosen. I was hoping my case would be settled in the alley behind the courthouse. There would be sub-titles, me dressed as some sort of shogun, and with the flip of a coin, someone would be put to death by villagers with torches. Alas, all that happened was, I ate a egg and cheese sandwich and fell asleep in the back of the jury waiting room. Next time!