Scared Straight

Today I was taking a very important lunch meeting at the Beverly Hills Hotel Coffee Shop. In the middle of my pitch to sell a tv show about how back hair is good for the environment to my waiter, Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi walked in. It appears they wanted to have a meeting with my waiter as well. They pitched a story about a tuna salad and a turkey sandwich. I think it is going to be an animated short, but I could be wrong. In any event when I left, Porita and I locked eyes for what felt like an eternity. In the next couple of weeks don't be surprised if you read in People magazine that Portia has left Ellen. I think I turned her.