Election coming up

This blog is finally becoming topical.

Zod in '08

4:23 PM

I have been sitting here for like five minutes trying to find something to write about. I have serious writer's block. Don't worry though, I have decided to eat a ton of candy before I go to sleep tonight. That should make for some interesting dreams.

More tomorrow

GORDON'S ALIVE!

I had a dream that I was Flash Gordon in the 1980 movie. The only difference between my dream and the film version was that in my dream I was carrying my welsh terrier under my arm while I fought Ming the Merciless.

Magic Movie Machine, part 2

Love/Hate Los Angeles

Love: It was 75 degrees out (December 23rd).
Hate: Even though it was 75 degrees out, there was a guy at the gym wearing a snow hat.

Different friend, more bacon

Friends and Enemies both want me dead

Last night I received a Christmas gift from my supposed friend. I don't need to name names, let's just say this is the same friend I have a $100 bet with regarding who will die first.

Five types of bacon to start the new year:
- Oscar Smoke House Applewood Smoked Bacon
- Hempler's Pepper Bacon
- Edward's Virginia Hickory smoked Country Style Dry Cured Bacon
- Father's Hickory Smoked Cinnamon Sugar Country Bacon
- Vande Rose Iowa Duroc Heritage Breed Pork Artisan Dry Cured Applewood Smoked Bacon

I have decided if I die first I need to be cremated*. I want to see him pick the $100bill out of my urn.



* If there is any bacon left when I expire, please cremate it with me.

Magic Movie Machine

Does anyone wonder how Will Ferrell, Adam Mckay, Judd Apatow, Paul Rudd, Seth Rogen, and Jonah Hill (to name a few of the supposed Comedy Mafia) are able to come up with movies like this time and time again? Without giving too much away before my thesis is done, I will leave you with a couple of clues:
*Rotary Phone
*WOPR
*Pact with the devil

Think about it!

Billy Town

I just got off the phone with my friend Billy and we had a long talk about the future. He told me that eventually he wants to own a ton of land in New Hampshire. Not only will he build his dream home on the property but a select few will be given invitations to build houses on the land as well. The land is free as well as any materials that come from the property (wood, water, etc). The only catch is you have to give something back to your community of friends. I am quite flattered to say I have been included in this grand plan. I have been racking my brain all day trying to figure out what I could contribute to the perfect society my friend will build in his image.

Some ideas:
Town Gossip
Town Drunk - could be an issue. Not a huge drinker.
Town Jew

Out of ideas

Ice Cube needs to get back in the game

No one lives forever, no one. But with advances in modern science and my high level income, it's not crazy to think I can live to be 245, maybe 300.

Just got word from my doctor that I can stop taking Lipitor.
LDL - 101
HDL - 48
Total - 175

Maybe a Highlander quote would have been better.

You cannot die, MacLeod, accept it.

Turkey Turkey

Got my endorsement

I don't normally like to talk politics. Too many people run their mouths off when they really don't know anything. In this case though I don't see the harm in telling everyone who I plan to vote for in the next election. You will soon see it is in your best interests to agree.

Writers' Strike - Good for Writers?

Last night as I was watching the season finale of Weeds, two things occured to me. One, Weeds has jumped the shark and two, if this strike continues I won't have anything new to watch. The magic picture box won't be so magical. Maybe I will read a book. So the way I look at it, if I buy a book because of the writers' strike there is at least one happy writer out there.

Should I get an iPhone?

I saw this commercial where some ballet dancer talks about how she updates her blog from her iphone. I want to be that ballet dancer.

For some reason I have "Music is my boyfriend" stuck in my head. The Apple marketing campaign has turned me into a lemming.

Back to school

I keep having this recurring dream that I have to go back to school because I failed some course. Why would it take over ten years for me to realize it? The dream alternates between high school and college. In the college version I have to move back into the dorms. I think it has to do with the fact one of my friends actually had to go back to college because he failed a class ten years ago and finally wanted to get his diploma. He use to call me on his way to class. We would laugh that he was keeping the dream alive. Not sure what dream that was. When I wake up sweating in the middle of the night I am pretty sure it's a nightmare.

American Gangster of Pudding

I know this might sound sacreligious but I am thinking of cutting the middle man out of the pudding equation. What if instead of cooking My*T*Fine pudding, I make my own butterscotch? I have been doing some research and it seems that butterscotch doesn't come from the sea as I once thought. Butterscotch is some sort of mixture of sugar, butter, cream, and vanilla. Now if I can isolate the pudding genome, nothing can stop me.

No individual has accomplished what My*T*Fine hasn't in a hundred years!

Papa Cristo's

I was trying to meet my lamb requirements for the day at Papa Cristo's when I noticed Tom Leykis wandering around the store. Did anyone know he was Greek? I almost went up to him and said hello but that would have required me to stop eating and stand. Instead I took another bite of my sandwich and imagined him taking me out JFK Sr. and Jr. style. Genius!

Lamb - my new butterscotch pudding

I have been eating lamb nonstop the last couple of weeks. Chops, Gyros, sandwiches, raw in a field nude. I have all my bases covered. Lamb is heart healthy, right? I don't know why I titled this post Lamb - my new butterscotch pudding. We live in a world where I don't have to choose.

Happy Veterans' Day

Against All Odds via Jalopnik

I use to love this movie. When I first saw it I was too little to care who would have won if that garbage truck didn't cut the race short. I still don't really care. I do remember a time my freshman year in college when I was obsessed with the Phil Collins theme song from the movie. I would drive up the Merritt parkway like I was James Woods in the Ferrari (substitute Honda for Ferrari), weaving in and out of traffic like a maniac, crying over my high school girlfriend who got smart and dumped me. I identify more with James Woods's character because of the size of his penis, of course.