Honda updates Accord after sixteen years!

So my title might be a bit misleading. It is a joke about the fact that my mother has finally replaced her 1990 Honda Accord coupe with a 2006 Honda Accord Sedan. I was a sophomore in high school the last time Sybil haggled on the price of a automobile. Don't get me wrong, the 90 Accord was a great car. I just can not believe my age has doubled while my mom has been cruising around in that thing. It is the end of an era. Lets hope the new ride can be as sweet as the old.

Memorable moments in the Accord:
-Being driven to high school by my brother when he was 17
-First speeding ticket
-First time I hit 120 mph (Don't tell Sybil)
-First accident, hit the side of my girlfriend's house (Don't tell Sybil)

My Doppelganger?

I was just sitting here minding my own business when an instant message popped up from one of my brother's past lady friends. We will call her Skye, as I am sure she wouldn't want her real identity disclosed. We went through the standard formalities of hello, how are you, etc. Then she dropped the real reason she was writing. Over the weekend Skye saw a band called Of Montreal, and was convinced I was playing bass. She really wondered why when she screamed "Barry," the bassist never looked at her. I assured her that I had no musical talent and she must have been mistaken. Skye then proceeded to send me a link to the bands website. I am a bit insulted by what she thinks I look like but hell it made me laugh and that counts for something. If you would like to join in on the mockery, here is the pic of my stunt double: The guy in glasses

On a less mocking note, Skye did have this to say about my blog: "You're insightful and hilarious, with a touch of sentimentality". Or was that more mockery? Who cares.

NJ Dumping

I mentioned the other day that I was spending quite a bit of time on the Weird NJ site. Coincidentally, last night I came across some other New Jersey info on MTBR that I just can't believe. It seems that there use to be a Ford factory not far from my house and even closer to one of my favorite mountain biking spots. The factory, located in Mahwah, closed in 1980 and a Sheraton was built in its place. I almost had my Bar Mitzvah there but that is another story. Anyway, a car factory in New Jersey seems odd to me but that is not the most startling part of what I found. For years the plant was having its toxic waste dumped in the woods of Ringwood. Tons of lead automobile paint and other stuff was just dumped into the ground by shady waste management companies. There are even rusted out LTDs and tires lying around the Sheraton from when the factory was still running. The article talks about how cancer is rampant in the area. The whole thing is really sad. It is such a nice section of New Jersey. I think Ford and the state are now spending millions to clean it all up. I seriously hope no permanent damage was done but I may be a bit optimistic. You can read all about it here :Toxic Legacy .

Friend Heaven

Friend Heaven - That special place in your head where a friend goes after you stop talking to him or her. This place is reserved for people that you still like, but for one reason or another just stop talking to. Usually applies to coworkers who have found new jobs.

Weird NJ

Been whittling away the hours today on WeirdNJ.com. I think the site has been around for awhile but I only discovered it on Friday. Some creepy stuff in the Garden State. One of my favorite things is the article about Jungle Habitat. It closed before my time but I have heard all the rumors of how the animals were just left to die when it closed. I wonder if there is any way to find out the truth about the place. Next time I am in town I am going to have to make a trip through there.

Sad sad day

I just tried to go to the superficial.com at work and got the following message:

Site is filtered
Access denied by SmartFilter content category. The requested URL belongs to the following categories: Provocative Attire, Profanity, Sexual Materials.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You are attempting to access a web site that Toyota Management has deemed inappropriate. If you feel this is an error, please send an email to "Info_Security".

There really is no reason for me to come here anymore.

The root of all Evil!

There is one thing that everybody says after a night of drinking: "How did this donkey get in my room?" Ok there are two things that are commonly said after a night of hard boozing. The second being: "I am never drinking again." That is how I feel right now, but the thing I have sworn off is not alcohol. I never want to see a cup of coffee again. No Starbucks! No Coffeebean! No Pete's!

This past Sunday is when my coffee relationship went south. I made myself a pot of coffee to get the day going. I don't know why I did this but I put as much coffee into the machine as it would hold. It tasted so good! I was quite pleased. Much like a night of drinking though, I did not think about how I would feel a few hours later. Within an hour of drinking my superjoe, I felt like I had been up all night doing lines of coke with the ghosts of Chris Farley and John Bulshi. My heart tried to jump out of my chest. I had no appetite and I couldn't move. Hell I couldn't even take a dump, which everyone knows is the best side effect of coffee. I spent the next four hours lying around swearing that if the sound of my heart beating in my ear would go away I would never drink coffee again.

Well it has been two days and I still can't even look at a coffee maker. So far without coffee, I am irritable, tired, and my head is pounding. There is nothing like withdrawal! Hell if not drinking coffee keeps me from hearing people order drinks by temperature it will all be worth it.

Nostalgia

"Remember when" may be my favorite saying. I love to be nostalgic. Over the last couple of years I have become obsessed with the things I had as a child. Whether it be a 1978 Batman mego doll or Tamiya Grasshopper, I can't get enough. I have had discussions with people about building the ultimate Nostalgia room. A room that is filled with unopened toys from the 80s, a pacman machine, and a cooler full of original coke.

I have been asked why I would want anything from my childhood. I can't really give a good answer but I can say, I like most people remember everything better than it really was.

One of those things was my first mountain bike. It was the summer of 1994 and I had just finished my first year in college. Based on the fact I hated walking to class, I knew I wanted to go back to school with a bike. After much deliberation I decided on a 1994 Trek 950. I remember the specs as if it was yesterday: 19.5 inches, ice blue, rigid fork, full lx components, and toe clip pedals. It was $700 including the tax. At the time it seemed like so much. I worked as a bank teller, and as a slave ripping up old carpet in my mother's house to get the cash together to pay for it. I spent the next three years beating the hell out of that bike. By the time I graduated, I had worn out almost every part on the bike. It was back in the day when I would actually wear out a part before I would go and upgrade.

After college, I got a new bike but I kept the 950 around for city riding as well as to lend out to the occasional friend who wanted to try mountain biking. Ah sweet such memories of my friend Keith taking it on one of his first rides. He hated falling so much he decided to punish my bike and throw it at a couple of trees. Reason enough to never lend anything again.

A few years later some unsavory person stole the 950 from my garage. Sure I collected from the insurance but I was pissed nonetheless. I had dreams about catching the thief. I dreamed about the beating I would give them. I know catching them was far fetched. I also knew there was a slim chance of finding the bike, but if you know me and you know the story of my peugoet (*see below), you know anything is possible.

Since the bike was stolen I searched occasionally on ebay for it. Fine I am lieing. I searched daily for it. Whats the big deal! I knew the odds of the thief posting it were slim but I also thought maybe there was a chance of finding a similiar one for sale. Of course there was little chance of me finding a replacement since I had a specific size and year in mind. A couple of years ago I came close but the bike was too small. I still never gave up and as of a few days ago I was able to finally put this obsession to rest. On ebay I found a basically perfect condition 1994 Trek 950. The guy selling it said he bought it new but it never fit him so it has been in storage ever since. What are the odds? So now it is mine. A bit of the past is back. I have only one promise for it. I will ride you as you deserve to be ridden. As if I am 18 and I have no where to be.


Looks like my Nostalgia room needs a bike rack.

*Side story - Peugoet

Just to show people that the odds can be against you and everything can turn out ok, I will tell you the story of my Peugoet. I got a 10 speed Peugoet road bike as a bar mitzvah gift. It was a great bike but being that I was 13 and growing it had a definite shelf life. It had been sitting at my mom's for years when Jake wanted to borrow it to ride around the city. When it wasn't being used, Jake stored it in the basement of his office. Well one night around midnight I came out of the path station to see the bike locked up to a bike rack. One might ask why I was looking so closely at a bike rack at midnight. The answer being, people who like bikes always look. It is sort of like pulling the brake levers on every bike in a bike store. It is just something we do. Anyway I called Jake and asked him why he left it outside. He proceeded to tell me I was nuts and the bike was safe and sound in the basement of his office. I told him there was no mistake it was my bike. After much reluctance, Jake got out of bed and went over to his office to check if it was there. Sure enough it was gone. I called the Hoboken police to tell them the situation. Much to my amazement the police had an undercover cop hang out at the bike rack waiting for the thief to return. Within an hour the cop got tired of waiting and just cut the lock and gave the bike back to me. I wish I was there to see the thief's face as he came out of the path to see his stolen bike was stolen.

Ribs really are better if you exercise first!

I now have scientific proof that eating barbeque is better if you exercise first. When I go biking we all know there is only one thing on my mind. RIBS RIBS RIBS!!!! Well on Friday I really wanted to go biking. The weather was perfect, so I packed up my stuff and headed to the trail head. After a very painful road climb on my single-speed I realized that my lights weren't working. The ride was over before I even touched dirt. Kind of sucked but at least I got to go to Mr. Cecil's earlier. I actually deviated this time. I had a pulled pork sandwich with beans, coleslaw, and hush puppies. Guess what happened. Without the hunger from riding, I wasn't able to finish the beans or hush puppies. Travesty I tell you!

Sucky Morning

I was going to write a little passage about how I laughed this morning when some guy rolled down his window and called me a Mother Fucker because I was caught in an intersection after the light changed. Only thing is, that really wont do the morning justice.

After being berated I continued on with my commute when the most eerie thing happen. There was this guy on a motorcycle in the lane next to me. He got along side me and we both made eye contact. I actually felt really stupid when we did because here is this guy riding a Harley, cruising at about 70mph and there I am sipping an ice coffee in my Mini. Anyway, right after our exchange, Harley man passes me and the next thing I see is his bike fly into the divider. It was awful. The guy just rolled through the car pool lane. I slammed on my brakes trying to figure out what to do. Within a few seconds I came upon the cause of the accident. There was a three car pile up right in front of where the Harley crashed. I felt such a heart sick feeling. The guy on the Harley was rolling around on the ground in pain. Thankfully the people involved in the accident got out of their cars and ran back to the Harley to help.

I hope the guy is ok.

Living in a cartoon

You know how in movies and tv there is this ongoing mockery of how people order drinks in coffee houses: "I will have a grande mocha half soy with extra gayness". Well I always thought it was just an exaggeration of the truth. That is, until today. I was at Starbucks and I actually heard the person in front of me saying the following: "I will have a vente cafe mocha latte at 140 degrees". I am not shitting you! The guy actually specified the temperature at which he wanted his coffee. I am just going to pretend this was a fluke incident and get on with my day.

So Hungry

Much to the amazement of others I went riding last night. Nothing too fancy but at least I got out there. I might add that it started to rain in the middle of the ride and I did not turn around. Enough patting myself on the back, the real reason for this post is to ask a simple question: Why does exercise make me so hungry? Fifteen minutes into the ride all I could think about was what I was going to eat when I was done. I had everything from In and Out burgers to tuna melts dancing in my head. When I got back to the car I would have eaten out of a dumpster if one was in my periphery. Alas my love of ribs won out. Once again I went straight from riding to Mr. Cecil’s. I don’t know if barbeque is considered comfort food but I certainly feel comfortable eating it.

Why do I bother looking at the menu when I go there? I always get the same thing: root beer, beef ribs, hush puppies, and baked beans. I refuse to deviate. As I said earlier, it comforts me. Last night though my crafty waitress tricked me. She made the mistake of bringing me baby back ribs instead of beef. I really wanted to send them back but my hunger wasn’t willing to wait. So happy I was too greedy to send them back. They were so damn good!!! Kudos Mr. Cecil, kudos.

Recap of the ride:
Calories burned riding = 400
Calories ingested at Mr. Cecil’s = 2500 - I might be selling Mr. Cecil short.

Sweet ride!!

Never has there been someone more over equipped and under qualified. Here is a pic of my new sweet ride!!!

I am back!

It has been awhile since I posted. I was like a super nova. I burned bright but then all of a sudden I was gone. Well I am back and ready to write. I finally had something happen today that I felt was worthy of a post.

I was driving into work today and I experienced something that might as well been on the show "My name is Earl". I was on Inglewood Blvd and I needed to get over one lane in order to get on the 405. Now traffic was basically at a stand still so in order for me to get over I had to put on my blinker and hope that some one would be kind enough to let me in. I have encountered two types of drivers in these situations. The first is the nice driver who is all too happy to let me in. The second is the driver who refuses to make eye contact and feels there is no way in hell they are going to give up an inch of headway. Today I met up with the second type of driver. I pulled up right next to this girl and made it clear I wanted to get in front of her. She was so adamant about not letting me in that she floored it so there would be no space for me. Well in her act of road rage she actually slammed right into the car in front of her. I sat there for a second in disbelief, and then I pulled in front of the car she crashed into.

The best part about this is the women who wouldn't let me in had a license plate frame that said "GOD IS AWESOME". Well I have to say GOD certainly is.

Karma is a bitch!!!!!

Ride 4 - Mr. Cecil's - 11-3-2005

Blah blah blah. I really have nothing to say about the ride I did tonight. After riding last night and being woken up at 3 A.M. by a stupid pager, I could barely pedal. I did have the energy to go to Mr. Cecils straight form the trail head though. Nothing makes you feel more alive than a half rack of beef ribs, beans, and hush puppies. So damn good.

Ride 3 - Crap Day - Great Ride - 11-2-2005

Today was one of those days that just sucked. I didn't have breakfast. I got in trouble at work for not answering a page in the middle of the night. I got in trouble at work for doing crappy work. I was stuck in meetings all day. I realized that I had $700 less than I had thought in checking. There was terrible traffic because of a Bush bashing protest by my apartment. I could go on but I am sure you get the idea.

This crap day does have a silver lining though. I got to go out for a ride tonight. I had planned to go with a friend but at the last minute he bailed. Everyone was saying don't go. Why bother with the traffic, etc. I knew I had to go. The anger I felt all day had to be released somewhere. I decided to take the turner and do a huge loop on some of the local trails. I parked my car on Capri and I road the 6 mile fire road to the top of Sullivan Canyon. The fire road is kinda boring and there are some really steep sections, but it does have its pluses. For one, mid way up the hill there is a good piece of single track off to one side. It goes through some dense woods. I am mentioning the woods because they are rare in LA. After the single track and a bunch more miles of climbing, I ended up at the top of Sullivan Canyon. I sang the praises of the canyon on Sunday. Let me just say that as good as it is during the day it is ten times better at night. The combination of the dark and my full suspension bike made for a great decent. I only had one minor screw up on my way down. I went left at one point when I should have gone right and ended up eating it. Nothing major, just some scrapes. It did freak me out though because if it was any worse, the kids from Stand By Me would have had to go look for my body. Once I got out of the canyon I met up with about 25 riders getting ready to start their ride. It turns out that Supergo runs a weekly Wednesday night ride from their shop. I may have to check it out next week for variety. After a brief chat with the group, I road down Westridge, out to Sunset and back up to Capri. Midway to my car, a deer got right in front of me on the street. I tried to get my camera out to grab a shot of him but by the time my fat hand turned the camera on, it was gone.

All in all I have to say that the ride really turned my day around. While I was riding I didn't think about the garbage that happened just a few hours earlier. All I thought about was the ride. Now I am home, calmed down and really just looking forward to getting out there again tomorrow.

Oh yeah in case anyone is interested the whole ride took me about an hour and forty-five minutes. One hour to get up the fire road. Twenty-five minutes to decend the canyon and another twenty on the road back to the car.

Ride 2 - Burnt Car - 10-30-05

I wanted to make sure I had enough energy for today's ride so I stopped at Mcdonald's on the way. Two egg mcmuffins later I was at the trail head. There is something about egg, cheese, and canadian bacon that just makes me want to ride faster.
The ride:
Cruised up the Westrdige Fire road to the Nike base just like the other night. From there, instead of going back the way I came I did a loop on the burnt car single track. Burnt car is a funny trail. There is literally a burnt car laying at the bottom of the single track. Seeing a junker in the woods is nothing new but what I can't figure out in this case is how it got there. It isn't like a person could have driven it down the single track. It could be the chicken or the egg conundrum. Which came first the single track or the burnt car.
After Burnt car I went down Sullivan Canyon. For anyone who has ever ridden in the Santa Monica mountains or plans to I have to say, you need to do the Sullivan Canyon single track as soon as possible. The Canyon use to be one of the best local trails around, then after much use and a ton of rain it basically became a glorified fire road. Well Mother Nature has struck again and after last winter's rain, the trail is now an awesome single track again. There is plenty of stuff to keep you interested as you go down the trail. Lots of rolling up and down, logs, twisty tight turns, etc.
Once done with the canyon it was a quick ride up the road to the car. It was about 11 miles of riding total and I was done in just under 2 hours.

All in all a good day of riding. Weather was great and the conditions were nice.

Ride 1 - Han "Solo" - 10-26-05

Tonight was my first ride since I decided to ride more and bitch less. It was also my first night ride alone. I wasn't sure what to expect. It was nice to be out there solo. It gave me a bit of fear that helped me move along. Sadly I now know that fear really doesn't make me go that fast. I am so the fat kid in the horror movie who gets killed first because he fell down while everyone else ran away or it could be because I was eating a sandwich while everyone ran away. Anyway here were tonight's stats:

I took the Westridge fireroad to the Nike base. There I turned around and started to ride the singletrack back but honestly I ran out of steam. I ended up cutting off the trail and getting back on the fireroad. It kinda sucked but I have to start somewhere. The loop was about 8 miles and it took me an hour and three minutes. Not bad considering I stopped to take some photos. Trail conditions weren't bad except in a few areas. I expected more errorsion from the rains a couple of weeks ago. I took some pics of where the trail had the worst errosion. In this one area I completely pussed and walked due to the fear of breaking a leg with no one but coyotes to help me. Some how I don't think they would help that much.

I am planning to ride again Saturday. Hopefully this time I can get some people to come with me. I would like to at least go faster than someone.

Will post again soon.

I am no Lance!!

I was going to make this first post all jokey about how I am fat and out of shape but I have decided to actually use this blog as a place to track my rides. I have been shamed into riding my bike by one of my friends. It seems as of late I have become more of a bike builder than a bike rider. I will admit I like working on my bike and I like the mechanics of how it all works together but I do like to ride also. So here it is, a place for me to track my rides. I figure I can give the vital stats of each ride. Time, bike ridden, location, amount of pain I am in, etc. So enjoy and please feel free to comment even if it is pure mockery.

Barry

Se sordo, McFly?

First!!!

Hi, I'm Randy. I am an asshole from the future who's traveled back in time just to post this video: